* a little bit of me.

Posted on February 1st, 2009 by melinda in Another day in the life of me.

Dear peeps, First of all I want to throw out a disclaimer & then move on to some personal information. I have struggled with how or even if I should write this particular post & when might be the appropriate time, if ever to write it. Since you are all brilliant peeps, you have probably deduced that I have decided to a). write it, b.) write it tonight & c.) trust that you peeps will be respectful of me and eachother. Now here is the disclaimer part: it is not my intention to be disrespectul to anyone, please feel free to not read this post & that will be ok with me & we can still be friends or at least I will still love you, respect you & be your friend. Tonight I want to share with you a little about my faith …

There is a reason for this post & I promise I will eventually get there, if you’ll just hang tight, you’ll understand in a bit.

So where to start? I guess the easiest place would be at the begining, you may want to get comfortable. I grew up going to church my entire life, it was just part of what we did as a family. I had been taught everything any good southern baptist child should be taught with the exception of one thing. Nobody told me that as I grew up, I would meet people or love people that had differing opinions or beliefs than mine & that I may actually still love or like these people very much. It was and remains to be very confusing to me somedays. Fortunately for me, I did grow up in a house where my parents taught me many things but one of the most important things is that it is not my place to be judgmental of other people for any reason. I might also add that, nor is it anyone elses place to be judgmental of me. You may be begining to wonder what any of that has to do with my faith, and I am about to tell you. As I grew older, moved off to college, got pregnant, came home, had a baby while I was still very young & immature, my faith and my church going activity came to an abrupt halt. I wish I had some really good reason to insert here, but the truth is this, I just didn’t want to go to church. I didn’t want to hear what was being said, a big part of it I had come to disagree with and I used that as an excuse not to go. But not only did I use it as an excuse not to go to church, I used it as an excuse for pretty much anything in my life that was not what I wanted to do. And although I have no desire to share all of the many ways I found to live my life with very little regard for my faith, I would not be being honest if I didn’t say, I made some very bad decisions along the way. The worst part is, many of those decisions affected people other than myself. I easily justified them and moved right along. One of the biggest excuses I used for not being involved in church or having a relationship with God was hypocrisy. I refused to be a hypocrit and perceived that about 90% of people who called themselves Christians were exactly that, hypocrits. And unfortunately, I still believe that some people who call themselves Christians are hypocritical. Let me give you a for instance, why is it that preaching against sexual sin is fine but I have never heard a pastor tell an overweight person, including myself, that gluttony is a sin & I am sinning by not changing my eating habits right along with many an overweight Christian. Afterall, gluttony is one of the 7 deadly sins. Or why do pastor’s preach pro life sermons, politicians campaign on it & pew sitters shout about it but never lift a finger to volunteer at a pregnancy crisis center, foster parent or adopt if possible? Those & other things are very confusing to me. Ok, now let me climb down off my soap box & get back to the purpose of this post. I am going to be as honest as I know how to be here … I don’t have the all of the answers, I don’t even have part of the answers … but what I do have is this … several years ago, during a very difficult time in my marriage, my 2nd marriage because the 1st one failed miserably, I was fortunate enough to have a very very good friend approach me about what may be missing in my life. She invited me to church, oh lets say 72 times until I finally made a deal with her … I would come to her church once if she would shut up & never mention it to me again, she agreed. As far as I was concerned, this was going to be one inconvenient Sunday morning that I had to get up earlier than normal but it would put an end to her asking and I was good with that. So off we go, me & the girls, I was late the first day, she met me at the door, I went in and 5 years later I am occassionally late but there. Not only am I there, the girls are there, Richard is there & now Randall (my oldest daughters boyfriend) is there. Why am I there? It’s very simple, it’s where I belong. There are no more excuses to be made, still many questions to have answered and many mistakes to make along the way, but that’s ok. I’m not perfect, my life is not perfect & that’s ok too. What did I find when I got there? I found that not all Christians are hypocrits, I found that some pastor’s really do practice what they preach (I am very proud to say, mine does) I found that I can be me & I can have & ask the hard questions among people who do not judge me. I found that being a Christian is not being a religious zealot who takes pleasure in others perceived shortcomings but picks that person up & carries them until they can walk on their own again. I found that I do not have to choose between people I love who may not agree with me but I can simply say “it’s ok if we don’t agree, I still love you & I respect you” I have recently found that studying the Bible can be very fun. They too were sometimes crazy mixed up people back in the day, not much different than we are today. And I found this, the one most important thing you should get from this post … a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and from that relationship, I have found inner peace that truly surpasses all understanding. Nope, I am still not perfect … I still have many a question about the Bible & I have not lost my mind. I hope that if nothing else, I have found a better person within myself.

And now, you have just read the first public testimony I have ever given of my faith with the exception of being at my church where I feel completely safe. If you have terrible comments you wish to hurl at me, I would sincerely appreciate it if you wouldn’t. This post is important to me because I want you to know me, the honest & true me. I have always made it a priority to be open, accepting and hopefully non judgmental of any opion different than my own & I hope you will show me the same courtosy.

And lastly, tomorrow I will be posting a special post. My blog, along with a whole bunch of other blogs, will be in listed in a feature artical in a magazine. Be sure to check back in the morning to read about all about it.


2 Comments on “* a little bit of me.”

  1. Amy

    I FINALLY have time to read you again, thank goodness! And this was the most beautiful post. Your testimony is real and thought-provoking and inspiring — just like you!!

  2. Eric

    NO judgement. You have a great testimony and now that you have shared it here it should be easy to share anywhere. You model what you believe and you can’t ask for more than that.

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