Hi! Guess what day it is? Did you guess? It’s 2nd Tuesday and that means it’s time for a mamawism! Once again, I did not get to go to dinner at PJ’s with the Bentley’s but I feel sure a good time was had by all. (with the exception of the folks who work there or other patrons)

Summer was without a doubt my mamaw’s favorite time of the year. She was always busy outside. She had huge gardens and about a gazillion flowers all around her house. Her yard looked like the Biltmore Gardens. As most people mamaw’s age, she was very frugal. This meant if you planted it, you ate it all summer, you canned it and ate it some more later. I am ashamed to say that I am 40 years old and have no clue how to can the first thing. I am scared of pressure cookers. Me blowing my house up should be crossing your mind right now. As you know, I have planted my first garden ever this year. And so far, it’s growing wonderfully. I have begged my aunts into showing me how to can some stuff if I actually harvest enough to be able to can. We’ll see how that goes. For now I want to share with you a few mamaw rules on the subject of gardening.

mamawism garden rules:

#1. plant and grow enough to feed the entire Bentley clan plus a small village for the next 72 years.

#2. The July 4th week was created solely for picking, breaking, stringing & canning beans. You should never plan a vacation that week. The Lord meant for you to be in the garden that week, not at the beach.

#3. If you step on a bean, berry or bunch of something in the garden, a flogging will insue.

#4. do not eat more than you pick or at least don’t get caught doing it … a flogging will insue.

#5. It is never to early nor to late to work in the garden.

#6. if you take a jar of something out of the basement, you had best bring that jar back with lid & ring in tow … if you don’t … a flogging will insue.

#7. anything you can and put in the basement will be “fresh” for the next millinium.

#8. you cannot get in the swimming pool until all gardening is done for the day. (mamaw had the first in ground pool around here and she used it for bribery every chance she got)

#9. you must look decent to work in the garden, you never know who may stop by to visit. Mamaw’s version of decent often included her bathing suit & red lipstick. (always a one piece bathing suit w/ a skirt, nothing skimpy … ever)

and the last one is the most important to remember … write it down!

#10. if you had your “monthly visit” you could not come anywhere near the garden, the produce, the porch, the kitchen or the house. you were completley banned from the premesis cause your “monthly friend” will cause the canning vodoo to not take hold and the entire process will have all been in vain.

moral of the story: all of us grand daughters miracuously got our “monthly visit” the week of July 4th every year at the same time. strange how that happened … don’t ya think? I win!

me.