* the surprise in the cereal box …

Posted on June 4th, 2009 by melinda in Another day in the life of me.

WARNING: Do not read this post if you are easily offended. If you end up offended it is nobody’s fault but your own! You know good & well you’re gonna read it … aren’t you?

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Shoppers … we have a problem. I should first point out that I am a cereal eating girl. I would rather eat cereal than pretty much anything else, with the exception of krispy kreme doughnuts and cream cheese. I don’t count krispy kreme’s and cream cheese as regular foods … they are addictions, not food. Cereal on the other hand is normal, everyday food and I like it … alot! I like it in the morning, for a mid morning snack, lunch and dinner … sometimes I can even fit in an afternoon cereal snack, if I’m lucky. I don’t like healthy cereal either. I do not want some puffed wheat with milk … no thank you. I want some sugar in a box, poured out and floating in real whole milk. That’s another thing … I don’t like lowfat milk either. Yuckadoo. Skim milk is like drinking blue colored water. It will ruin one’s perfectly good cereal in a matter of seconds. Do not use it on cereal, there is probably a warning label on the cereal box that says “whole milk only” … or maybe not … this is my blog and I can make up stuff if I want to.

Moving along to my most recent dilemma … I bought generic cereal on my grocery shopping excursion this weekend. It is the fake fruit loop kind. It looks like regular fruit loops (minus the big bird, which is another reason all on it’s own to buy the fake kind). It taste like regular fruit loops. It even smells like regular fruit loops. It also comes with an added bonus I wasn’t expecting. In addition to all the aforementioned qualities of generic fruit loops … you also get an extra bonus prize of bright green poop at no additional charge! (no, I did not take pictures of the brightly colored pooh, although I would be lying if I said I didn’t at least ponder the idea). What I did do (do), sorry, I couldn’t help it, was take a quick inventory of what I had ingested over the last 24 hour period of time. I can assure you the glowing green embers did not come from a large consumption of green veggie products on the part of yours truly. I only cook green stuff cause it looks good on a plate, not because I actually plan to eat it. My mind instantly went back in time to the day heather my anonymous friend had rectical difficulties after eating an entire box of some oops all berries captain crunch cereal. I then knew where the problem lay … aside from in the toilet. It was the fake fruit loops. Well, I’ll be dern … who knew?

Please feel free to be grossed out … it won’t bother me a bit, cause I know, even if you are grossed out … you laughed at least once while reading about that crap!

me.

9 Comments on “* the surprise in the cereal box …”

  1. Jodie

    I did laugh….and shook my head.
    You are too funny!!! Good night!!

  2. Michele

    OMG!TMI!TMI!

  3. Katrina

    If you drink too much grape Kool-aid you will get “surprised” too!!!

  4. chrisi

    i agree with michele! TMI! WWWWWTMI!

  5. tanner "tan-man"

    WOW!!!(that is what I thought–and my jaw dropped after reading this…

  6. tanner "light brown"

    TMI Melinda…
    WWWWWTMI!

  7. courtney

    You crack me up…Thanks for the heads up.

  8. melinda

    making a note about the grape kool aid information. laughing at all you “tmi” commenting people … I gave you fair warning not to read it … it’s not my fault y’all are nosey! and the rest of you … I am so glad I can make you laugh, even if it is at gross stuff!

  9. scott lail

    you are a nut girl

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