* how to embarrass your child 101 …
These are the things a parent lives for! Oh, not you? Ok, let me rephrase that … these are the things demented parents live for … is that better? Just admit it, you enjoy embarrassing your child and yourself occassionally. What fun is life without laughter? Especially if that laughter involves your daughter saying “mom, please tell me you aren’t leaving the house in that”! and your answer is something like “sweet child of mine, just be glad I have clothes on at all”! Then they will rethink their previous statement and go with the I am glad my chunky mama is not neckid in public theory. Works everytime, at least at my house it works everytime.
Now, moving along to our first lesson on how to sufficiently embarrass your offspring …
You save up until a really important moment in their lives, like a Hoedown graduation party, for example. You wait until the very last minute to get dressed, with no plan at all of what you may wear. You run in the house, take a quick shower (cause stinky is not embarrassing, it’s just nasty), you then sling everything out of your closet in an effort to find something that looks Hoeish … oops, I meant Hoedownish, sorry. And this is what you find.
a) 1 long sleeved red flannel shirt
b) 1 pair of old dingy worn out capri’s
c) the oldest boots in your daughters closet
d) a tattered cowgirl hat from only heaven knows where
e) the next step is a must … your ensemble will not work without this step!
that’s right … you have to cut the sleeves out of the flannel shirt.
Once you have retrieved the necessary items for your outfit … you attempt to part your hair in the back & braid each side, leaving enough of the braid so that it can be seen from underneath the cowgirl hat.
Now, you put it all on, swearing to yourself that no matter how tacky, silly or horrendous it may look, you are leaving the house in what you are wearing. You prance into your daughters room in grand fashion causing her to say “mama please don’t” … you smile, sashay out and head straight out the door to her party!
Upon arriving at the party, you hold one of your 2 oldest and dearest friends hostage, forcing them to have their picture taken with you. Please note, Amy’s child was not embarrassed by her mother’s attire.
And … if all else fails and your child is still not sufficiently embarrassed … you can always climb your chunky butt up on a mechanical bull, hollar like the big ole redneck you really are, squill like a crazy ninnie and I promise that without a doubt, not only will your child be embarrassed, so will everyone who knows you! BUT … you will have had the time of your life and not give one flip what any of them thought!
I hear an ugly rumor that there is a video of me riding the bull but unfortunately neither Thad nor myself know how to add a video clip to the blog … oh well, I just hate that, maybe next time. Or not!
me.
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Did you really embarrass your girls? I thought you were a hoot. You looked like you were having a good time, or you was going on a melt down flow. Anyway it was fun. Love ya!!!!!!
oh Ms Melinda.. I thought you looked lovely!! And I have to say that you were a professional riding that bull.
I said it before and I’ll say it again, you looked sooo cute Friday night. Kids are gonna be embarrassed by us no matter what so I say you might as well have fun doin’ it. The party was great! We all thank you for the invite! Luv ya, Bobbi
I thought you were precious & I am so sad I missed you on the bull. The shin-dig was quite lovely!
do not be sad you missed me on the bull … be grateful, be very very grateful!
I want a pic of you on the bull…..f
I want to be a size 2, which one do you think will happen first? I don’t think there is a picture of me on that bull or maybe there is and it has been destroyed! you ready to go camping? btw, which night are you brining your favorite daughter in law lasagna?
I have a video of you, me and Kevin on the bull and if I can ever get it to download to FB, it will be on there. We had a great time and if my kid was not embarrased to see my chunky butt up on that bull, then we were having fun. Loved it and you guys.
Melinda, honey, there is absolutely a pic of you on that bull – a video, too!!
mom anita, I would be willing to wager a bet that there are several pictures and more than one video of me on that bull … but I would also be willing to wager a bet that none of them are gonna be posted on our little ole blog! It’s one thing to make an idiot of yourself for a few seconds but to watch the proof over and over again is just way too much emabarrassment for this (cow)girl! have fun with the boys while your son & AJ are away.
ps: I think you should feel obligated to come take me to lunch since your son will be failing in his duties while he’s gone.
Surely you got some pictures of Richard’s midnight stroll in his boxers and boots to go along with your bull riding techniques! You should definitely post them. So, when would you like to go to lunch??