* what makes a marriage work …

Posted on July 16th, 2009 by melinda in making marriage work



part 1.

This is a post that I’ve been working on writing for the past several days.  I just couldn’t seem to find the right words to use in saying what it is that I very much want to express.  I kept going back over and over the words I typed, wondering if I were going to offend anyone, go to far out on a limb or sound like I’ve gone back 50 years in time.  Ultimately, I decided … none of those things matter.  You are all intelligent adults and I certainly hope you feel free to read or not read any post I write.  I’m just glad you show up every now and again and some of you are even considerate enough to comment, share and express your opinions in return, which I appreciate more than I can tell you.  So here it is …

I had the opportunity last Friday night to spend some really nice one on one time with mrs. preacher man, better known as Anita.  If you don’t know Anita, well you are missing out on a true blessing.  When I think of the word grace and what it means, I automatically think of Anita.  I’m sure I would get more than a few amen’s from my church family if I were to say “God blessed Eric immensely in the wife category”.  Anna was kind enough to occupy Faith & baby Hannah long enough for Anita and I to have an actual adult conversation while tooling around the back 40 on the golf cart, while the men folk were finishing up with the hay.  I realize this probably doesn’t seem like any big deal and in and of itself … it’s not, but we discussed some subjects that I’ve struggled with over the years and she provided some much needed confirmation in my life that I am not insane, at least concerning these particular things.

The discussion centered around us as women and what our roles are or should be.  I can tell you straight up, I am not a perfect, even near perfect specimen of what a wife should be.  I struggle with control issues that often place barriers in my marital relationship.  Fortunately for me, God has placed some really good examples of what a wife should strive to be in my path.  For example, when I think of someone whom I admire as a wife, I think of Cathy.  Jimmy Brown is probably the luckiest man on Gods green earth when it comes to his wife.  Lord help him if anything should ever happen to Cathy.  Anyway, over the past several years, I have begun a personal journey to becoming a better wife.  Several years ago (and I won’t go into this part of my life in detail now, but someday, I will share in detail about it) Richard and I were at an impass in our marriage.  Basically, some things happened and we both had to make some life altering & marriage altering decisions concerning whether or not we would continue in our marriage.  As much as I would like to put the blame solely on Richard’s shoulder’s … the truth would be, we both had many issues that needed to be worked out.  At that time, Anita gave me a book called “The Power of a Praying Wife”.  I read it front to back more than once.  I studied it, I learned from it and I did many of the things that were suggested in the book.  In fact, I still do many of the things in that book.  But the biggest question I had to ask myself was this … do I really want to be a wife? the next question to myself was, what kind of wife do I want to be? and finally, how do I get there? 

I would love to take a couple of blog post to answer those questions from my perspective.  I will tell you a couple of things in advance … I am still married, I am happily married and I am still working on being a better wife. 

Here is where you come in … if you are a wife … be thinking about those questions, as we go through some upcoming post, I would truly love to hear from you.  What makes your marriage work, what are your secrets?  If you are a husband, I would especially love your opinion … I would be extremely curious to know about marriage from a male point of view other than my husbands (although I must say, I do value his opinions concerning our marriage greatly).

to be continued …


2 Comments on “* what makes a marriage work …”

  1. Judy

    Just now read this. Marriage takes alot of work from both. Rickey & I have been married 30&1/2 years. Some have been hard and others have been a piece of cake. Rickey had to do alot of things most men could not do when I was sick. That was hard but it grew us closer. Rickey said to tell you a good wife buys him a new harley. That helps make him happy.HA! HA!

  2. melinda

    tell Rickey does an older Harley count, cause if so, Richard should be set in the happy department! I got a wonderful surprise yesterday … I got to see Haley! I went to pick up grandmommies medicine & low & behold the 1 of the 3 most beautiful girls in the world came to the drive thru window. You know, that girls is so precious! kinda like her mama.

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