making marriage work …

part 4.

In part 3 of this series, I wrote about what it means to be a good wife.  I thought I would share with y’all some things that I do around here to make my man happy at the house.  No, I am not going into graffic detail about any naughty subjects … sorry, to disappoint. 

I mentioned earlier in part 1 of this series about a book Anita (mr. preacher man’s better half) gave me during a troubling time of my marriage.  One of the things the book mentioned was praying for your husband.  First let me say, I am an avid believer in prayer.  It’s an area in my life that I have struggled with for years, because it truly is not an easy thing  for me.  I tend to get side tracked instead of focussing on my prayer.  Does that ever happen to y’all?  The book suggests several ways of doing this, even if your spouse doesn’t believe in prayer and you do.  My favorite is this method … since I never sleep, unless my friend lunesta is wooing me to sleep, while I’m laying in bed, listening to Richard snore loudly sleep peacefully, I put my hand on his back and quietly pray for him.  I use to pray he would want to share my faith with me, God answered that prayer.  I continue to pray for his safety, his concerns, his struggles and how I can be the wife he needs and wants me to be.  I’m sure he has no clue I do this.  He sleeps like a log.  But I find relaxation and a sense of peace by simply & quietly spending time with God for nothing other than His blessings on my husband and our marriage. 

And now we’ll move along to the not so serious stuff.   Here are a few things I do just to be nice. 

1. in the morning when Richard gets up (I don’t have to get up as early as he does but I do for a couple of reasons). his coffee is made, his clothes are laid out, his lunch is packed and breakfast of some sort is on the bar.  I don’t do any of those things because he asked me to or because I feel obligated to.  I am not suggesting that you wait on your spouse hand and foot.  I do them because a) it makes our mornings go smoothly if we aren’t rushing around tripping over eachother b) if I choose to sleep in then everything is done & he doesn’t have to make a bunch of noise & wake me up c) we get a few minutes of time together before the crazy day takes it’s toll on us.  Some days it may be the only 15 minutes we have alone.  d) he likes being spoiled a little bit, but he won’t admit to that.

2. I cook dinner most nights.  I touched on that in part 3, but here are some in depth reasons.  We really do live on a limited budget.  I find that cooking saves me money.  He is not a picky eater, so that makes it even more simple.  I enjoy cooking very much.  I always try to fix something I know he likes, this isn’t always the case, because sometimes fish sticks just don’t hit the spot.  I find it very gratifying to watch him or my girls enjoy something I’ve prepared.

3. We share financial responsibilities.  I am responsible for the budgeting & paying of bills, but we do not make purchases over $50.00 without discussing it with eachother.  Both of our paychecks go in the same account & we both have access to those funds.  This is probably an area in which we could use some improvement.  We don’t always see eye to eye on what is an important purchase and what isn’t, but we seldom argue about it, we discuss it & make a decision from there.  Not that once in a while a feeling or two doesn’t get hurt.  It’s also one of those control issues I have to smack my own hand about every now and again.  I’m not good at sharing budget stuff, I just mostly want him to work & me be in charge of the money.  Somehow, that doesn’t seem to work so well.

5. This is a biggie for me.  Every once in a blue moon, I will go way far out on a limb and go do something that I hate really don’t enjoy, simply because it makes him happy.  Eg:  I will go to a car show.  I’d sooner eat dirt but that probably wouldn’t help in the long term marriage department.  But at the same time, he sometimes does things he doesn’t enjoy just because I enjoy it.  It’s all about the compromise. 

I would love to add to this list.  I would love your suggestions and things you and your spouse do for eachother.  I’m sure there are lots of things I’ve never even thought of.  If you’d be so kind as to share them, it would make me a happy girl.

me.