Ever wonder what “normal” really means?  What makes something normal?  Is it because it’s always been that way or because that’s just the way we do things without really ever realizing it? 

I never really gave it much thought.  As I look back on the past 3 years without my mom …  I realize that maybe there isn’t any such thing as normal.  Life is simply a cycle of change.  Nothing ever really being normal.  Death occurs and new lives begin.  We move from day to day within the existance of what we consider to be our norm or our life as we know and understand it.  When unexpected changes throw a wrench into that norm, we have 2 choices.  We can choose to grieve forever or grieve for a time while being greatful for the time we had, to pick up and move forward or linger in our anguish.   I’m not sure you really ever get over the death of someone you love.  I’m not sure that I believe time heals all wounds or even makes them less painful.  But I am sure, life does go on.  There will be good days and bad days and all kinds of weird, crazy days in between, but life continues to move forward. 

In the last 3 years, I have learned lessons I probably would have never learned had my mama still been here.  And as much as I miss her, not just  today but everyday, I am possitive she would not want us to sit around being sad or mopey.  She would be glad that we are all spending some really good family time together (although we are missing Chrisi a lot).  She would love watching Anna rock Emma Joy to sleep or listening to Emma Joy read a book to Bapa.  She enjoyed life … we enjoyed life together and even though she isn’t here physically with us … we have made the decision as a family to continue to enjoy our lives, life together, life with the many friends that we are blessed with and let me tell you, we are some blessed people. 

I hope today, if you happen to be having a crappy day,that  you find time to go do something you enjoy.  Even if it’s sitting somewhere reading a book.  I hope if you are having a great day, that your day will become even better.  And if you’re somewhere in the middle between crappy and great … go bungee jump or something, that’ll cheer you up.  That’s what Joy would’ve done. 

Maybe normal is just really over rated.  3 years from normal has been a long, often bumpy road,  3 years from normal has also brought many new joys to our family … 3 years from normal and we still miss her like crazy.  3 years from normal and we’re doing o.k.  3 years from normal … she would be proud.

me.