Tonights post comes to you with the most warm …  heartfelt … truly useful advice that I may ever dispense here on our blog.   I am no expert on anything, in fact, I’m not even very smart about most things.  But the following public service announcement … I am absolutely without a doubt possitive about. 

Before I share the all so important advice with you, I must share a little back ground.  My chest is congested and my upper back hurts.  I don’t feel sickly, I feel fine with the exception of what feels like a wad of elmers glue clinging to the bottom of my throat.  Being the doctor that I am not … I decided to once again self medicate.  Fortunately for Richard, he is on his way back to TN, because he hates and I mean hates the smell of my first choice in chest congestion remedies … thats right … Vicks vapo rub.   If I ever want to cause Richard to sleep somewhere other than in our bed, I lather up head to toe in Vicks and wahhlaa the bed is all mine.  I opted not to torture him while he was home for the weekend and thus didn’t whoop out the Vicks, but he’s gone now.  I’m safe.  I will be sleeping alone anyway, unless you count, Sadie, Dozer and Tulsa.  Yes, Tulsa, Anna’s dog … I won’t even go there.  (please picture me holding my hand, palm out, up in the air as I say that last part, all the while rolling my eyes).  Enough back ground … on to the important stuff.

If you should ever feel the need to rub yourself down in slimy, menthol goo … do not, for the sake of all that is good, forget to wash your hands immediately after you finish.  It is not a wise idea to get busy cleaning your nasty messy bathroom counter top and suddenly have the urge to go … well you know, go.  Double ply toilet paper is no match for the slimy, menthol goo and will not … I repeat, will not protect you from the self imposed torture that is about to impart itself upon you.  You will never run a tub full of cool water so quickly in your life again, even if you live to be 101.  I should not be left alone for long periods of time.  It’s dangerous.

This public service announcement is now concluded.  Please continue with your regularly scheduled evening.  Thank you.

me.