It’s all about the compromise.  That’s what I’ve figured out about this whole marriage thing.  Yes, there are numerous other things that have to be included in the mixture … like:

love

respect

trust

values & morals that mesh

But the one thing that works best for Richard and myself is … compromise.  I must admit, I did not use to be so good at the compromise thing.  It’s the control freak part of my nature that often hinders my ability to realize that compromising makes life much easier for all involved.  For instance, I will share 2 small examples in which compromising this week made my marriage much easier.

#1.  My dad, the girls and I will be traveling to TN for Thanksgiving.   Richard will not be coming along this time.  I could’ve thrown a huge fit (which I might have done a couple years ago) but instead, I decided to listen to his reasoning as to why he would be staying home.  I have to give him credit, he had some valid reasons … thus, I didn’t throw out like a 3 year old and we made the decision, together, that it would actually work better for him to stay home.  I will miss him, I will be sad that we aren’t spending the holiday together, but I won’t be angry or upset and he won’t be grouchy from being drug along on a trip he didn’t want to go on. 

#2. It’s deer hunting season.  My husband likes to pretend like he is hunting deer.  I cannot really imagine Richard shooting a beautiful animal, but he insist on going to sit in the woods in the wee morning hours when it’s freezing cold.  His old routine was … leave Friday, come back Sunday.  I didn’t much care for that for several reasons.  I didn’t see him all weekend and I missed him being here for church on Sunday.  So we … you guessed it … compromised.  Now, he doesn’t leave until late on Friday night, after we’ve spent some time together and he returns sometime on Saturday night.  I appreciate that he is willing to change things to make me happier.  When melinda’s happy we are all happy.  That isn’t really true but I like to make myself seem important around here every now and again. 

I think the point I’m trying to make is this … marriage is hard enough without adding unneccessary arguing about not such important things that could easily be worked out if we are willing to put our stubborness and pettiness to the side for the greater good.  I fully believe there are things that should not be compromised on … like for instance if Richard says “hey melinda, I think we should consider me getting a girlfriend on the side”  or “hey melinda, maybe we should spend this weeks bill money hopping a plane to vegas for the weekend”.   Not compromising there.  I realize there are going to be times of disagreement, hurt feelings and both partners cannot always be happy with every decision that is made.  I still pout every now and again, but I truly hope that I am maturing past that in my marriage.  It’s not all roses and sunshine, but it sure beats how we use to handle disagreements. 

Now if we could just compromise and Richard get his hair cut like it was in the picture I’d be good to go!

me.