* forever young …

Posted on May 9th, 2010 by melinda in my not so normal family

Please pretend that you can hear the cheerfulness in my voice as you read along tonight.  This is me, making a grand attempt at not being miserable once again this year on mothers day.  So far, I’d say it’s been about 50/50.  My eyes are not swollen shut, I have not blown snot on any portion of my body or clothing, and I only had to walk out of the service at church once this morning … we are making progress!  I did mention to my family this morning that we could just skip the yearly torture session church altogether and go spend the day in the mountains but no … they thought it important to go to church, so church it was.   While at church I somehow managed to volunteer myself to cook dinner tonight for all of those who don’t have prior engagements this evening.  Yes, I am a glutton for punishment.  I’m playing, I’m glad we will once again have a noisy house full of hungry people, plus my mother in law is coming over and I am always glad to see the best mother in law in the world.

So … I have opted not to fill your heads with sweet sappy memories of my mama today, instead I’m going to share some of my most favorite things and memories of her with you.  I feel safe in doing so, simply because I’m pretty certain she can’t get me back.  Although, as I have mentioned before, if I show up at your house in the middle of the night because my house is now haunted with the ghost of my angry mother, just role over and make room for me in the bed and we’ll figure it out in the morning … mmmkkaay?

I often wonder what my mom would think about this whole blogging thing.  In some ways I think she would really like it because she loved to write, she was very good at writing and she fully believed writing to be good inexpensive therapy.  In other ways, I think she wouldn’t like the fact that I for any reason ever told anyone that I once had green poop from eating generic cereal.  (she would have laughed loudly about it  but scolded me for not being more cooth in my writing).  She most definitely would not have liked being the subject of discussion, which would have more than likely lead to me never even mentioning that I had a mother, simply because I was and remain afraid of her wrath.  Y’all would have all just thought I was hatched from an egg and somehow ended up with a father, end of story.  But she isn’t here and as punishment for her having the unbridled nerve to die and leave me alone on this earth being unafraid of anyone else who may deem it necessary to gage my moral writing conscious, it so serves her right if I tell you all of her secrets.  That’ll teach her a big ole fat lesson!  Seriously, that was a joke, but I swear I would tell her that face to face given the opportunity. 

Here are the top ten things about my mother that you probably never needed to know:

#1. She busted me and my brother both partying in college.  She just showed up, daddy in tow, at our front doors, unannounced.  It was ugly.  At least it was ugly in Wilmington, I don’t know about Atlanta, because she purposely didn’t tell me they were going to “visit” my brother because she knew I would have called and alerted him, which would have given him a 4 hour head start.

#2. She cussed twice in her entire life that I know of.  Hell was her word of choice.  Once while riding across the big bridge there was a mass of fire, rescue and emergency alarms going off and she said “that must be one hell of a fire”, the second time was a bit more poignant … upon my telling her that I was 7 months pregnant, with no plans to get married, she promptly sized the situation up with “how in the hell do you plan to pay for this”?  Even at 19, I got tickled cause my mama had cussed and we had a good laugh and cry all at the same time. 

#3.  She loved trivia and was a master of all things trivial.  She even had some random trivia book beside her toilet.  It’s still there.

#4.  If she called me after 9:00 pm, I knew without a doubt that she had taken an ambien.  I immediately called my brother to have him call her too so we could laugh hysterically the next day when she would swear we had not talked to her. 

#5.  On their trip to Alaska, she danced with the Native Indians when no one else would.  This may have been Brad’s fault, but you’ll just have to ask him about that.

#6.  When we were little she would make a pretend camp fire out of sofa pillows and play a song on the piano while Thad and I danced around the pretend fire. 

#7.  She once sewed me a home made denim bikini.  I actually looked good in a bikini when I was like 7, but denim is definately not the way to go in bathing attire … can you say gawded behind?

#8.  She enjoyed exciting adventures … white water rafting, bungee jumping, rock climbing, glacier climbing.  You name it, she would most likely try it.  She lived life to the absolute fullest.

#9.  Although she loved adventurous things … her first choice of activity was a reading.  It didn’t matter what she was reading, she just loved to read. 

#10.  She was incredible at her job.  She had a passion for children that goes beyond explanation. 

I hope you’ve enjoyed getting a small glimpse at the life of my mom.  There isn’t a thing on that list that I don’t miss every single day.  But in the same sense, that isn’t a thing on that list that has not been instilled deep within the person I hope to be, so in many ways, I don’t miss them entirely, I just miss sharing them with her.

To all of you mothers, I hope you have had an incredibly wonderful day.  My children and my husband have made my day very full and happy.  I am so very blessed.

So to my mama and to my daughters … thank you for keeping me mindful of the importance of being Forever Young … love this song, click and listen to it.


8 Comments on “* forever young …”

  1. cathy brown

    You have been in my prayers today….Love you, Happy Mothers Day!!!!!!

  2. Amy

    Ahhh Melinda. I know, or at least, thankfully, can only imagine to know, how hard today is for you. I’m glad you have a houseful of hungry people, but it will get quiet there eventually. If you need to talk, I’m up all nite (supposedly working, but as you can see, not working too hard) I love you. And pray for you. And love you some more!!!

  3. miranda burgin

    Oh, Melinda ! What a beautiful blog ! I have always felt so blessed to have known Joy – even for a short while. She was such a kind and generous person. You carry on so many of her admirable qualities and I know that her presence is with you and Thad and Hayden today. Happy Mother’s Day!

  4. melinda

    thank you all for the happy mothers day wishes. it turned out to be a very nice day, a few tears here and there but all in all a good day. i am so very thankful for each of you and the part you have in my life.

  5. Marjorie Markham

    Here are some of my 10 memories of Joy and getting to know, love and work with her.
    1. I went in to see her late one afternoon and promptly told her the bookkeeper should never answer the phone and she looked me straight in the face and asked what “Her Mother” had done.
    2. She once asked me how I got my 4 kids where they needed to be and I told her I do like the kids and go down the list of friends til I find someone that can help. She asked if she could ever call me. I felt so blessed.
    3. I will forever treasure the scavenger hunt Dr. Hollar sent our staff on and the pic of her and I by the new Rink Dam Bridge.
    4. All the years and hours spent helping her with the Christmas Benevolence Program.
    5. Her letter she sent me when my father and then my mother died in TN.
    6. She didnt always give advice, she sometimes asked me how to deal with a daughter. (Bet you didn’t know that). Being 10 yrs younger than her and 10 yrs older than her daughter, I sometimes saw both sides and could help her understand.
    7. Having her come to all the games she could when I coached her granddaughters on my ballteams. Not just 1 team, but 3 usually for Chrisi.
    8. Knowing and loving to hear the stories of loving a man since 4th grade. Sorry Hayden, but we did talk about you sometimes.
    9. Needing her support and shoulder to cry on when I was going through my son’s diagnoses of cancer at the age of 18.
    10. Knowing she would be there to help me when I went through my divorce.

    Your mom will be Forever Young in my eyes and I hope she is right there on my shoulder helping me make the decisions I make.

    Like you, I miss my mom everytime on Mother’s Day but like you, I look at my kids and know I am like her in a lot of ways.

    She loved you very much no matter what and so do I.

    • melinda

      what a great list margie. i don’t think i knew that the two of you discussed me, but i am sure you took my side and told her to let me have my way (ha)! thanks for sharing those memories, they made me smile.

  6. Marjorie Markham

    Actually, I didn’t take either side. Just presented your thinking as compared to her thinking. They make me smile too. Especially every time I go across the Icard Dam.

  7. Jodie

    I only was able to spend one very short weekend with your Mom. I knew from the moment I met her she was one amazing lady. She had a heart of gold. Happy belated Mother’s Day !!! I am glad you had such a nice day with your family.

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