* a new phase …

Posted on November 13th, 2010 by melinda in making marriage work

Hello weekend, I am so glad to see you.  It’s been yet another long, busy and hectic week (with a vacation day squeezed in there) and I am very happy to be in my big nasty chair, in my pajamas, in my cozy house, with that guy I love home for a long weekend.  I am super excited that he gets to be home for 3 whole nights instead of 2 this weekend. 

And speaking of him being home … we went on a date tonight.  We were extremely adventerous!  We went to Walmart.  BUT … not our Walmart, a different Walmart.  Yeah, we are risk takers like that … be jealous.  I am happy to report that this particular Walmart does not seem to possess the same funky air as most Walmarts.  (if that makes no sense to you, please click on the related post on the lower right hand side bar, if it does make sense to you without clicking elsewhere … well, I’m not sure what that says about our relationship except that I probably provide TMI some days) Either way, we had a nice time out. 

I don’t know how many of you are getting to the stage in life when your children are now adults and have their own lives that don’t always involve you, but I must say, after a long struggle with empty nest syndrome, I am actually begining to enjoy this phase of my life.  I will be the first to admit that letting my littles become bigs has not been an easy process for me.  I nearly had to be committed when Chrisi left home (that is not an exageration by any means) and I have basically refused to ever let Anna move out, although she is seldom here, especially on the weekends. 

I have been a parent for the entirity of my adult years.  I never planned to become a mother at 19 and certainly wouldn’t recommend it, but I truly cannot imagine my life any different.  I had a child before I was married, so up until recently, I had no idea what married people without children even did.  It actually didn’t seem overly appealing to me, probably because I very much enjoy being a mom, but now … well now, I am learning to enjoy this new stage.  Richard and I have settled in to a nice routine of figuring out our identities apart from just being parents.  Don’t get me wrong, we still enjoy time spent with the girls and their friends, but we also enjoy things like date nights to Walmart without screaming ninnies children.  I am finding that the quietness in the house doesn’t feel so lonely, that I can actually finish a chapter in a book without having to make a snack or wipe a butt or snotty nose, and I sort of like it.  I really like not being awake watching cartoons at 6 am on Saturday morning.  I really like not having a knock down drag out getting ready for church on Sunday mornings and I really really like not having to keep up with those god forsaken planners that teachers send home every single night of the dad gum week.  (please note that my oldest daughter will have a stroke when she reads that).

I hope you’ll stick around to read how this new phase works itself out.  What new adventures we may find ourselves in, and truthfully, they probably won’t get a whole lot more exciting than Walmart date nights, that’s just how we roll, but it will be a progressive process and it may get interesting, who knows … we may get really brave and go to the campground with out the kids or something really out landish like that. 

If any of you who read our blog have grown children, I would love to know how you’ve adjusted to that and how your life may be different now.  Leave me a comment and let me know. 

ps: that’s not a very recent picture of me and the man of the house, it’s just an attempt on my part to remember how much I like his hair cut short as opposed to the current caveman style … but I do suppose caveman beats mullett!


5 Comments on “* a new phase …”

  1. Courtney Sloane

    Woah, I am so not used to having four new posts in a week. I like it. And I like you (a lot)! And I’m happy you’ve got your fella at home for a couple of days.

  2. Marjorie Markham

    I can relate on so many levels with your feelings of grown kids. However, I am patiently waiting for the right guy to have date night with.

    I am very thankful for the date nights with my friends who invite me( or I invite myself LOL) into their lives and families. Makes me really feel loved in a time of my life when I don’t always feel that way.

    I have come to love the quiet of being alone and hate it at the same time

    I can’t wait to have Thanksgiving here yet worry about how I am going to feel when we have Christmas here for the first time. It will only be one of a handful of times I will not be with any of the family I was raised with. My new phase begins that night. The night in which I will start a new tradition with my own kids and their significant others. Wish me luck…

    Enjoy your next few days with the love of your life. Date night at any Walmart is great. It increases my stock. LOL

    • melinda

      you know margie, i fully believe that one day that perfect date guy will come along for you, but at the same time i am so glad you don’t sit around home being sad waiting on him … i love that you continue to live your life to the fullest. you are a beautiful woman with so much to offer, any guy would be fortunate to have that date night.

      i am excited for you that christmas will be a new phase for your family this year. i know that change isn’t always what we desire but sometimes great things come from necessity. you have great kids, i love them all, and i feel certain there will not be a dull moment at your house during the holidays! i can’t wait to hear all about it.

      as for your walmart stock … we probably pay your powerbill at least every month!

  3. AmyM

    First, Margie, I second all that Melinda just said — you rock!!
    Second, just as I was getting used to my quiet semi-empty nest, my son brings home a puppy. Not just any puppy — a hellhound . . . a demondog who is all teeth & claws, & TINY bladder!! Now, this is ‘Will’s dog’ & for the most part he takes care of him (goes with him to work, sleeps in his room) but pretty much every day I have to puppysit, @ least an hour or so. And, it is in those hours that I crave an empty nest!! I seriously have no patience anymore!!

    • melinda

      oh amy, how i feel your pain. 3 horses, 4 cats, 3 dogs and only 1 of the dogs is actually mine. however, i feed all the dogs and cats, i make sure they have water, shots and food. as for the horses, well that is a work in progress, we even managed to get chrisi to the barn tonight ;… i promsie i have pictures of that adventure to post in the next day or so. maybe that’s how this new phase works, we get to take care of animals instead of children? i guess it beats having gran kids for the moment!

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